Does Lucky Girl Syndrome Work?

What’s Lucky Girl Syndrome Missing?

While Lucky Girl Syndrome appears to contain some important psychological tools designed to help motivate and encourage, the trend is not without criticism. Because Lucky Girl Syndrome places so much emphasis on success stemming from fervent belief in one’s good fortune, the implication is that those who aren’t succeeding simply aren’t thinking positively enough. Some have pointed out that privilege plays a major role in what’s termed as “luck,” and that this and the proximity and access to resources for those claiming simply to be #luckygirls needs to be taken into consideration.

Lucky Girl Syndrome also neglects to talk about the need to take action towards achieving goals, focusing solely on mindset. This misses the necessity of setting small steps towards getting what you want, and the importance of strategizing with others on shared aspirations. Hard work is often necessary to make progress, and sometimes that work still doesn’t turn things in our favour. The potential for challenge, setbacks, and even failure, aren’t addressed at all with Lucky Girl Syndrome, which sets the stage for the development of toxic positivity.

What is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity occurs when difficult but natural emotions like sadness or anger are dismissed and covered up by false displays of happiness. This can be imposed upon you, such as if you have just lost a loved one and someone says to you while you are upset, “It’ll be okay, everything happens for a reason.” Other times, we can cultivate toxic positivity ourselves by denying the emotions we deem “negative” and putting on an artificially cheerful face instead.

Validating and processing our negative emotions is an important part of personal growth and building self-understanding and resilience. Avoiding this stifles our own development, as well as our ability to empathise with others. Some signs of toxic positivity include:

• Feeling shame or failure around not always being happy or positive
• Making others feel that they are not doing enough or working hard enough
• Dismissing, minimising, or silencing your or others’ difficult emotions, like sadness or anger
• Using platitudes to respond to genuine need for support, understanding, or compassion

A far healthier alternative to toxic positivity is a balanced approach that creates space for positive thinking and self-talk while also building resilience and coping skills to manage hardship and disappointment. This also increases our capacity to be supportive of others who are facing obstacles, allowing space for improved, meaningful interpersonal connections. Therapy can be a useful tool in developing the ability to embrace the positive and face the negative with both energy and wisdom.

Negative Impacts of Lucky Girl Syndrome

The exclusion of the potential for failure or hardship, and the lack of recognition of privilege in the pursuit of success, underlie the negative impacts of Lucky Girl Syndrome. These can include:

• Development of toxic positivity – the intense focus on seeing and talking about only positive things denies people the opportunity to respond to situations genuinely and to learn and grow from challenges or mistakes
• Developing anxiety or depression – not following these affirmations with an action plan opens room for non-fulfillment of your goals which can lead to depression when faced with failure. Similarily, the inability of many people to fully believe in their positive statements can bring on excessive anxiety along the way.
• Not learning from mistakes – the power of positive thinking can trick you into believing that past lapses of judgment weren’t a big deal. This prevents you from learning from those errors, making you prone to repeating your mistakes.
• Disregarding warning signs – believing that “everything will turn out fine” can prevent you from noticing and acting on red flags until it’s too late.
• Lack of compassion for others – Lucky Girl Syndrome is highly individualistic and based on an idea that everyone has equal opportunity to be a lucky girl. This excludes structural injustices, and can foster blame or disdain for those who aren’t lucky as it implies that those who aren’t lucky simply aren’t trying hard enough

These negative impacts expose the lack of balanced thinking in Lucky Girl Syndrome. By trying to frame every experience positively, Lucky Girl Syndrome misses the chance for wisdom and perspective learned through seeing things from different angles and accepting the potential for hardship and failure.

How to Make Positive Affirmations Work

Positive manifestations, positive affirmations, and positive thinking all help to boost our motivations, hone our goals, and cultivate an open mindset, and are most effective when used together with a clear plan for action, and the resilience to see and manage challenges and hardships as they arise. Here are a few tips for making positive affirmations most productive:

• Create your affirmation based on where you are – you want to be more outgoing, but the reality is that you are shy and nervous about social situations. Instead of saying to yourself, “I’m the life of the party,” consider starting with, “I’m working on opening up in new situations.” Gauge what feels attainable and work your way up gradually.
• Prove it to yourself – write down why you think you’ll be able to achieve your affirmation. This can include the work you’re doing already, or other challenges you’ve overcome. Convincing yourself that you can do this is key to making a positive affirmation work for you.
• Bump yourself up as you grow towards your goal – effective positive affirmations aren’t static; they are step by step movements towards a shift in your patterns of thought and behaviour. As you feel more comfortable and secure with what you’re working towards, shift your affirmation towards the next level and watch yourself progress.

Those struggling with low self-esteem, depression or anxiety may find that they need more than the work they are already doing in their daily life to maintain a positive outlook. Mental health professionals use techniques like cognitive behavioural therapy and dialectical behaviour therapy to further support their patients in incorporating positive approaches while embracing a more balanced way of thinking. 

Cognitive behavioural therapy

Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) is a form of talk therapy designed to help identify root causes of negative thinking or behaviour and analyze the impacts of problematic patterns on daily life. CBT helps to teach alternatives to these patterns, with the therapist working closely with the patient to learn and practice healthier coping skills and ways of approaching problems. These can include positive thinking and affirmations, as well as more constructive interpersonal communication techniques and healthy lifestyle changes.

Dialectical behavioural therapy

Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) is a type of CBT used for patients who may have had challenges finding success with other treatments. DBT promotes a blend of acceptance of aspects of mental health issues as well as healthy changes in patterns of thought and behaviour. In particular, DBT focuses on teaching mindfulness, managing emotions, successfully navigating relationships, and tolerating stress.

Cultivating Positivity and Resilience at The Dawn Thailand

The Dawn Wellness Centre and Rehab Thailand offers individuals struggling with addiction and mental health conditions a way to maximise the positives in their life. We use a trauma-informed, person-centred approach to identify the root causes around where you feel stuck or troubled, and develop a broad palette of healthy coping mechanisms that will transform your life for the better. Internationally accredited by the American Accreditation Commission International (AACI), The Dawn offers highly personalised plans that cater to your individual needs using a holistic treatment method and modern techniques with proven results.

Mental Health Retreat in Thailand

Our centre is conveniently located just outside the beautiful city of Chiang Mai, Thailand, a one-hour flight from the country’s capital of Bangkok. At our tranquil riverfront property, you are completely removed from your triggers and immersed in a safe and soothing environment where you can focus solely on your personal journey. 

Call us today for more information on how we can help you one maximise the potential in your life.